Honor Thy Husband?

Brittany has some thoughts on gender roles in relationships-

I recently read a post on Facebook that said something to the effect of when you are out in public with your husband, you should never say “he can fix his own plate.” It went on to say you should respect and honor your husband while in public and make his plate for him.

I shared it with a friend of mine, and she made me chuckle when she replied with “I honor him by not pouring my beer over his head for asking me to fix his plate!”

Years ago, everyone had the belief that a wife should serve her husband. The husband would go to work, and handle the finances, so the wife was expected to do everything else. She was supposed to clean, do laundry, cook and serve meals, do dishes, care for the children, as well as be there emotionally and intimately for her husband. The perfect little house wife.

Changing Times

As we all know, times have definitely changed, and so have relationships- thankfully! Now there are many different relationship types instead of the old standard one size fits all. Of course, not everyone has changed. But I would say the majority of people have. Now relationships can basically go one of three ways. One person takes all responsibility, the responsibility is shared, or the other person takes all the responsibility.

I have been in all 3 types. The first one was when I was young and dumb. I had just had my first two kids and thought I was “in love.” I did everything. And when I say everything….I mean everything. I worked, I went to school, I paid the bills, cleaned the house, cooked, took care of the kids. And while I did all of this, he did nothing. Well other than play video games. He didn’t work, help with the house, or help with the kids.

It was horrible and only lasted as long as it did because of the kids.

The next two have been during the time I’ve been married. At one time we both worked outside of the home and we shared responsibilities at home. He actually worked 2 jobs a lot of the time, so I would pick up the slack at home if he couldn’t get to something or vice versa.

But for the most part, we both put in an effort. We made it work.

Now, I am a work from home mom and he does hard physical labor all day long, 6 days a week. So, I do most of the house stuff. I do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the bill paying, all the “perfect little house wife” stuff. Don’t get me wrong, he will pitch in when he comes home in the evenings if I need him to. He hangs out with the kids in the evenings and on his days off, and does work around the house.

But for the most part I take care of the house, because I’m the one that is usually here. And that’s what works for us.

Difference in Opinions

With “gender roles” out the window and a huge increase in strong, independent working women, this topic causes a lot of….I will call it discussions. I see a lot of posts and conversations online where people (mostly men but a few women too) still think that a woman’s place is in the kitchen or catering to their husband. While others think that men should be happy that we aren’t strangling them on a daily basis.

So where do you and stand on this topic?? Honor thy husband, happy wife happy life, or somewhere in between? Let us know in the comments!

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2 thoughts on “Honor Thy Husband?

  1. I guess I am somewhere in the middle because I don’t find these statements contradictory. I honor my husband and he makes me happy. I should say I am a heathern naked hippie but he finds public nudity disrespectful and I respect that…for the most part. And he doesn’t wait for me to follow him around with a list of chores before he’ll do ANYTHING. Even strong kings need a break from the crown as well as devoted mothers need a break from caretaking to feel fab-u-lous ! Switching “gender” roles or even roles in your life doesn’t just help each other it makes a happier more understanding well rounded and independent person. I love to cook but I want my sons to know how to not burn the house down cooking bacon. So they are as self sufficient as I hope their wives will be. All areas of life require balance to be optimally productive. This is what I guess I never understood about a mans refusal to learn “woman” things like have you seen Castaway? How is tom hanks gonna get him and Wilson off that island if he doesn’t know how to do a tight braid?!? Its just smart to know all information! But…that’s me.

    1. Awesome perspective on the subject Delilah! Team work makes the dream work! Shared responsibility is always nice. Helping each other and working together can make life easier all around and can help people become closer. Not all people have the same outlook and to each his own but that is a good point. Learning a new skill is always helpful!!

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